Grant's Space

Apple obviously cannot state the true reason for the much-hyped signal-strength reduction “flaw”.

The truth is, it’s not a flaw at all, but a life-saving feature. The media seems to have forgotten the research stating that cell phone radiation causes cancer. The iPhone 4 features a new sensor that detects how tightly you’re gripping the phone/antenna. If your hand is covering a sufficient enough portion of the phone/antenna, or most noticeably bridging the break between the two antennas, the phone automatically decreases the signal strength to protect you. If you release your gorilla-grip on the phone and hold it with safe, minimal contact, or add a buffer between you and the antennas, the phone can continue at standard strength.

Obviously Apple cannot advertise this feature to the public, as tag lines such as “kills you slower than the Droid” and “Now with less cancer!” perform poorly in focus groups. As a result, Apple must deal with unfair bad publicity. But, in the end, it’s a strategic business move, because the iPhone 4 customers will live longer than Apple’s competitors’ customers, allowing them to buy more phones in the future.

This morning, in honor of Pac Man’s 30th anniversary, Google’s “Doodle” logo changed to a Googleized version of Pac Man.

With 255 levels, 2 player mode (click “insert coin”), and a statement that the game will NOT be archived, offices across the world have seen a dramatic drop in productivity.

When asked about the game’s effect on his department, a manager at a well-known dot com company, who wished to remain anonymous, stated “What? No, wait a minute I just. Dammit! Why did you interrupt me? I was on level 15! Get out of my office!”.

Similar responses have been heard at all levels of management in many corporations around the world.

In an exclusive interview with a VP at Google, we were told that the game was developed as part of Google’s ongoing plan for world domination:

“Using the IP address of the player and data such as the length of time playing the game, level achieved, etc, we can not only determine the immediate effect on office productivity to our competitors, but also gather information regarding the problem solving skills of their employees. Using the Google cookies already stored on the employee’s computer, we can make intelligent hiring decisions, stealing our competitor’s top talent.” *

So, there you have it. Innocent game? I think not.

* Nobody was interviewed at any company in the writing of this article. Were they too busy playing Pac Man to talk to us? Maybe.