Grant's Space

This just sounds like a handy word to have in your vocabulary.

eructation \ih-ruhk-TAY-shuhn\, noun:

The act of belching; a belch.

Ignatius belched, the gassy eructations echoing between the walls
of the alley.
— John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

The explosion, at this distance, sounds like a faint, feeble
eructation.
— Peter Conrad, “Bangs to whimpers”, The Observer, March 7,
2004
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I
am writing to ask for your assistance. I
have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine
the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to
illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate
and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is
accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five
years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and
income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see
one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it
out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes
every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes
in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be
illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my
family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency
room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums
for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a
year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would
receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as
well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United
States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of
renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance
premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age
children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal
(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be
most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA

I never realized there was actually an episode in which the coyote catches the road runner. But t here it is (it’s not even the Family Guy parody – but an original episode).

I’m glad when the media actually has something productive to say about the entertainment industry.

Of course, I also am amused that CNN can’t figure out the concept of aspect ratio any more than most people with new wide-screen TVs. Are we destined to see everyone stretched wide for the next 10 years?

Anyway, it’s a good piece. Watch it.

CNN.com Video

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it…

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ….

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn’t care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies,

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores …

Then buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn’t care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually …..

Then buy a dog.

But, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness………………..

Then buy a cat!

What, you expected something else?